How do I write a commentary or a guide on Cervical Orgasms? I just don’t know how to sum it up succinctly. There are so many components that go into creating this beautiful masterpiece of sexual and spiritual artistry. I will try and sum it up into a few categories. For me, opening into this kind of orgasmic experience came in tandem with my yogic/spiritual practice and evolution. They are so intrinsically linked. I really cannot imagine one without the other. So in what I describe below, keep that in mind. Everything I write is based on my own personal experience and I share it here with you. So, alas, here is my '8 Step Guide to Cervical Orgasms, Vol. 1.'
1. Spiritual Aspiration:
Ask for and invite Grace! I’m sorry if the word ‘spiritual’ puts anyone off, so choose another word if it suits you. But opening to this sort of energy means opening to something bigger than yourself. And not just opening to it, but aspiring towards it. There is a mystery and other-worldliness to this kind of orgasm. There is a letting go- a surrender- that is essential to expanding into this kind of all-encompassing orgasm. If, for whatever reason, you are not ready or able to shed the masks you wear, the judgements you hold and all of your inhibitions, you may not be able to experience this fully. As a sincere seeker on a spiritual path, you are most likely trying to do these things anyway, and in that case, your spiritual aspiration and your cervical orgasms will be a great support to one another. Just start wherever you are. Maybe today you surrender and let go just a little bit more than yesterday, and then tomorrow just a little bit more than today. Use all of your other tools in your life toolbelt for letting go of that ‘me’/ego self (think meditation techniques, yoga, art..whatever it is that really helps you let go..)
2. Knowledge of how to move (and especially raise) energy:
Most women are used to orgasming in the area of their pelvic floor. Most probably the clitoris, but perhaps the vagina in general, or perhaps even the ‘G-spot’. Nevertheless, in most of these instances the experience of orgasming is a sensation of downward release. This can be compared (especially in the case of the clitoral orgasm) to the male ejaculatory orgasm. (*yes, there are other ways for men to orgasm too!)
My training in how to move energy came with studying traditional hatha yoga with a focus on chakras and energy. A great yogic technique that still remains a secret to much of the west is Uddiyana Bhanda. Getting comfortable with this in your yoga practice on the mat will be a great aid for you to call upon while making love. Very very simply and at the very least, when making love, try to visualize the sexual energy in the area of your pelvis moving upward toward your heart, or even the crown of your head. If you let your energy just build in the pelvic area, chances are you, or your partner, (or both!) are going to explode before this magic gets a chance to happen.
3. Sexual continence (for both man and woman, but especially the man):
So this is a whole other can of beans and requires some skill, effort and determination on the behalf of your lover. Just as you are focusing to move your energy upwards, so too does your man need to participate. Eventually in Tantra, a man will learn to sublimate his orgasm inwards and upwards just like you are learning to do. ‘Sexual Continence’ is a term to describe his ability to refrain from ejaculating. Those Uddiyana Bhandas I mentioned above would also be a great thing for him to practice on the yoga mat to prepare for your love making adventures. Though a man’s ejaculating isn’t in itself going to stop you from having a beautiful cervical orgasm, knowing that it is not going to happen certainly takes the pressure off of you needing to get anything ‘done’ in any amount of time. And his control of ejaculation means your love making can last longer, allowing you to have deeper and deeper, increasingly profound states of ecstasy. Keep the energy flowing inwards and upwards for both of you. Pay attention to his limits and if he asks you to slow down, slow down. Or even stop. Take a break. Support him as well. (Helping him helps you!)
4. Control of your pelvic floor muscles:
Bring out the Yoni egg exercises, kegel squeezes and whatever other tricks you have. Keeping those muscles toned and strong is also going to aid a lot in your lovemaking, especially with the cervical orgasm. And on top of everything else, toning those muscles helps to build sensation and awareness in your Yoni. The more you squeeze during love making, the more amazing this is going to feel- for both of you. I can often bring on a cervical orgasm just by squeezing my partner’s lingham and pulling the energy inward and upward. In many cases, if the energy is strong enough, this can happen without his lingham even touching the cervix!
5. Some helpful positions:
Woman crouching on top allows for deep penetration. Some women say doggie-style is great for them. This hasn’t been my experience for cervical orgams, as fun as it is for other adventures. For me, crouching or straddling on top allows for a great and deep penetration. Also, as the cervix can be a tender area for many women, this allows you to control how deep/hard/fast penetration is. Eventually, just simply lying on top with legs outstretched and intertwined, maintaining penetration, all the while continuing to squeeze the Pelvic Floor muscles and drawing energy upwards, can often bring the most beautiful effects. Ah… Let me just take a minute.
6. Yoni Massage:
Depending on you and your perfect yoni, this may or may not be something helpful/useful for you. As women, we hold so much tension in our yonis, and especially- our cervixes. If you have had negative life/sexual experiences there is a good chance a lot of that is being stored as tension in your cervix. Just like a good massage therapist can massage knots out of your shoulders and back, someone skilled in yoni massage can gently work out any ‘knots’ in the yoni. There are actually people who provide this service professionally, including some chiropractors and physiotherapists. However, if that is intimidating, there are also a lot of great resources out there in terms of books and videos where you can be guided to work through this together with your partner. As long as it is painful to have your cervix touched with a lingham (or even a finger), it will probably be very difficult to enjoy a cervical orgasm.
See yourself as a Divine Goddess. See him as the perfect and Divine embodiment of the Masculine. This is a big bite of the cookie, ladies. And this adds so much to the transcendence of this experience. Let yourselves rise as your truest and deepest expression of what you really are. Instead of looking at him as the guy who didn’t wash the dishes or who has the smelliest farts, allow yourself to look into him and see the deepest and and most true embodiment of who he is as a man. And then, when you meet that.. Naturally, the only thing you could ever do is…
Yep. This is the big big BIG ticket item here, ladies. Let go. Release. Give yourself over to someone else. Trust. If it helps, say it out loud. “I’m yours.” “I’m your woman.” If that’s too much, “I love you” is pretty good. Allow yourself to let go of all the things you think you are supposed to be and do. If you need to slow down, slow down. Take a deep breath. Feel into yourself, into your surroundings, into the moment. Squeeze. Send all the good sensations UP, and relax into the big wide open….